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"Gloria" oil painting on canvas
12x16 oil on canvas
08/30/11
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I'm a noncatholic married to a catholic from Ireland. I met Malachy two years
after he came to America, long ago. We live In Colorado with our three childern. I'm a lefty but a ambidextrous painter.
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I want you to take me, where I belong
where hearts have been broken, with a kiss and a
song
Spend the rest of my days, with out any cares
everyone understands me, in the valley of tears.
Some words
have been spoken, so weak and low
but my mind is made up, love has got to go
spend the rest of my days, without any
cares
everyone understands me, in the valley of tears... Fats Domino
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Who is SEETHER
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Who are the people that have had an influence on you?
Non-living, would be The Apostle Paul, Vincent Van Gogh(not for his paintings) and Michelangelo. I wish I
could have known
any one of them.
Living influences are Bono and Jesus Christ. I would love to get to know Bono, and as for Jesus he calls me
every day but I seldom answer.
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What is the main goal you long to strive for? I want to be a better painter.
I want my paintings to edify to soul of the viewer. God has given me a strange desire to paint and I want to master that which
he has called me to do.
July 28th 2011
U2 rocks Minneapolis (BONO/AKA) St Paul
After the u2 concert in Denver
I just had to go see them again. I had u2 friends going to Salt Lake, Anaheim, and Chicago but I had a painting
seminar, couldn’t afford it, and had to spend the fourth with the kids. Minneapolis was the one for me. I got online
booked the flight, the room, got the ticket and was set.
The next day after I booked everything I found out that
I have 2 parasites, Strongyloides and Endolimax nanna. I’m a thousand times better then I was last summer; HOWEVER,
since the
H pylori I’ve suffered from digestive problems and lower abdominal pains. I can only eat a variety
of seven different things and water only. No sugar/ artificial, no dairy, no fruit, gluten or yeast.
It
all makes sense to me now. I just couldn’t figure it out, because all these people that eat unhealthy and get heartburn
take a course of Prilosec and then they eat what ever they want. I’ve been on so much OTC/ prescribed medication over
the last year and nothing helps.
Anyway turns out I have been a gracious host!!!
I told my Doctor about the U2 trip
and she said since I had been dealing with this for a long time it wouldn’t make a difference if I waited to start the
treatment. She prescribed two antibiotics and said she had to warn me that the side effects would be bad and there is a long
road ahead of me. She’s baffled how I could have got this. She asked me if I have been over seas and I said just Ireland.
“No, she said not Ireland, its not likely. Malachy said the only parasites in Ireland are the ones that walk around
on two legs. I think I met a few in the pub!
The pharmacist never even heard of the antibiotics and had to order them.
When I picked them up she asked if I just got back from a mission trip. I wanted to say yes, but just told her the truth “its
just a mystery.”
The last time I was in Minneapolis was for Elevation 2001 Target Center. I spent the night before
Elevation boozing it up. This time it was a different story.
Sunshine came softly through my a-window today
Could've tripped out easy a-but
I've a-changed my ways…
Donovan
I decided to spend
the night before u2 in prayer. Prayer because I’m thankful to be alive, truly I am. prayer because I didn’t know
what would happen with the antibiotics. I just needed the time alone. I love solitude.
One of my prayer was about being
thankful for the food I am able to eat, but I would love to have a cheese burger and drink something sweet like juice, iced
tea, anything besides water.
I looked in the hotel desk for a bible because I was thinking about a scripture I heard
on the radio a few months back.
It was Micah 7:8
Do
not rejoice over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen I will stand up; though I sit in darkness the Lord will be my light.
I couldn’t remember what book in the bible it was in. I thought it was Nehemiah so
I just started to read it. It was a good as I read it but I just couldn’t find the scripture I wanted. I was getting
ready to close the bible but then decide to read on a little longer and I read the scripture that spoke to me! So awesome,
I cried.
Then he said unto them,
Go your way , eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared : for this day is
holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry ; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10
After reading that I felt reassurance and I knew I’d get through this.
The next day I woke up and
it was going to be a rainy day. They news promised a storm around concert time. They said the band would play through rain
but not an “Electrical Storm”.
I headed to TCF Bank stadium around one and it didn’t take long to meet
other fans and become friends. We were all waiting to meet Bono and the boys. Unfortunately we were all waiting in the wrong
place and by the time we found out where they were coming in we missed Bono. We waited in hope that he would come out
but he had some things going on. We got to see Adam and Larry drive in. We were all disappointed but still had the concert
and I was filled with great excitement!
What a show!! It was the most amazingly
beautiful concert I have ever been to. The band came out and started to play and after a while it started to rain a little
and then it stopped. It was the calm before the storm. After awhile it just poured rain. Bono was dripping wet and he sang
his heart out and the band played on…
There were times when the rain got so heavy I thought for sure they’d
have to stop. I know Bono was thinking he’d play through anything because he wouldn’t want to let the fans down
that already had to wait a year because the show was canceled last summer. My heart hurt because I never wanted it to end.
I wish I could have just stayed there like the Twilight Zone, “ But things don't last forever, and somehow baby
They never really do....
They never really do
********************** 5/22/11 Yes, after all
these years I at last met Bono! He is more lovely in person and such a beautiful compassionate person. He gave
me a kiss on the cheek and I felt like ???? I don’t even know but I love him. I knew it was going to be the day I would
meet him but I didn’t take any photos of my paintings. I just felt if I wanted to meet him it would have to happen
this way. In the past I was so determined to met him and show him my work it was as if God wouldn’t allow it because
I put that desire far above my faith.
I keep on chasing the wrong things and coming
up empty
This isn’t who I’m supposed to be
I keep on learning the hard way from every mistake
mainstay
Yes after all these years of running at last I met Jesus!
And life is good, I’m at peace in my own head. I was with my friends, Elsha and her mom and dad. Her mother Shanna
has to be the most awesome person I ever had the pleaser to meet. It just brings tears to my eyes the amount of sacrifice
to bring her daughter to all the shows and the amount of love and care. Poor Elsha too, By the time we meet Bono her
back was killing her but she said it was all worth it!! Her dad Joel told me that the news in Salt Lake did a story
on her being "The worlds biggest smallest U2 fan" and he said the painting I painted for her of Bono was on the
news. That’s exciting! The concert was amazing,
so amazing that I’m regretting my decision not to have bought tickets for Salt lake and Anaheim. I’ll be taking a portrait painting class Monday- Thursday. Two paintings in four days so wish
me luck.
Of coarse I picked the two hardest photos to paint. I’ll show you them when I recover from
the class. Truthfully, its a very stressful class but it gives me a chance to paint with other painters and just keep
my ear cocked. Also, I want to talk to you about health, more importantly,
your health. I’ll do that after the class as well. September 27th 2010
It has been awhile since I updated the website. Life has been so busy,
moving so fast.
We were working on renovating a rental house and that was taking up a big part of my life. It was almost
a two year project. Thank God it was finished in June and rented out in July. I kept telling myself after that project was
done I would get back to painting. Painting what I want to paint! I have painted landscapes for people here and there but
nothing I wanted to post.
So there I was already to start painting in July but I wasn’t well.
I was
having sinus problems and headaches, living off mucinexD and sinus rinse.
The headaches then moved from my sinuses to
the base of my skull. I had nights when I would just jump up out of a deep sleep and my brain just felt strange. Eventual,
I had to sleep in a chair because there was just to much brain pressure and weirdness going on when I would sleep in the bed.
Progressively, everything got worse and worse. I had the feeling of something pushing on my chest, making it hard to breathe.
I went to the doctor and he said it was sinus problem and gave me an antibiotic.
It seemed to work of a little while
but then it came back with a vengeance.
I went back to the Doctor and he said “your symptoms confound me”.
What kind of answer is that! He sent me home with nothing, only those words ringing in my head.
At that point I was desperate
for an answer so I made an appointment with an ENT.
After waiting over an hour and him spending two minutes with me he
said “ your symptoms confu… no just joking he said I really don’t think its you sinuses that are making
you sick. He said he wanted me to take a Barium swallow test but then in a very negative tone he said “ I doubt
that I’ll find anything’. I didn’t want the swallow test, yes I was having difficulty with swallowing but
I just thought it had to be sinus. I phoned back to his office and said “I don’t want a swallow test!”,
so they set up a CT scan. It came back normal. The nurse that called me said if you want I can still set up the swallow test.
She told me to think about it and call her to schedule it. Not my sinuses? What else could it be! Ok, I thought, I’ll
call and schedule the swallow test. I wanted to but I took a turn for the worse and was in bed most of the time, with the
exception of taking the kids to school and cooking dinner. I didn’t have the energy to even talk and eventually I couldn’t
eat anything. I could only have few bites and I just felt sick and really full. I was losing weight and at 107lbs I couldn’t
afford to lose too much. I was in constant prayer. By the next weekend I was at breaking point. That Friday I met a friend
for lunch and had just a few bites and by the time I left and got to the school to pick up the kids I couldn’t swallow
or breathe and my chest was full of pressure. I was having hot flashes and I thought I was going to pass out. I some how managed
to pick them up and drop them off at my moms . I was going to urgent care. I called them before I went, just to find out what
kind of test they could give me and they said I had to go to the ER right away because they thought I might be having a heart
attack. So I drove to the ER and after many test they said it was acid reflex, which I believed because my throat was
killing me just as if I drank a bottle of pine sole . They gave me some cocktail to drink that sent my body into convolutions.
I was shaking all over but it only lasted for twenty minutes and then I was a little better. They discharged me and I staggered
down the hall feeling very high or drunk. I don’t know how I was able to drive but I made it. I stayed in bed all day
Saturday watching lord of the rings trilogy. I was not well. I waited to see the doctor until Tuesday and by that time I only
weighed 98lbs. I walked in and it was not the confounded one but my usual doctor. She looked at me and said ’God your
so pale’, are you even eating anything at all?
“No I can’t eat “ I said. She decided to put me
on prilosec for six weeks, still thinking it was only acid reflux. She said to come back and see her in a week if I
wasn’t better.
I spent all week taking prilosec, tagament, Mylanta and any OTC meds that would stop my throat
from going in to a spasm. The base of my skull was still pounding. By Thursday I couldn’t take it anymore then, I saw
the 700 club prayer line on TV so I called. The guy that answered was named Wilson. When I heard his voice I wanted
to cry just as if God him self was on the phone and I wanted to beg him to help me. I mantaned my composure and he prayed
for me. After I hung up I just cried and cried. I prayed and prayed. Then there came a moment when I just fell silent and
I felt the Lord had heard my prayers and in the secret place in my heart he meet me in the silence. I had a quiet peace and
calmness. I stared to think the thoughts that God impressed in my heart. Didn’t God just spare my life last November
when I walked in on a robbery? It was at the rental house we were renovating. I was going to go straight over there after
dropping the kids off at school. I woke up that morning and the house smelled like burning rubber and it was cold. The heater
broke during the night. I was really mad because I had work to do at the other house and I couldn’t go because now I
had to wait for the heater guy. He called me and said he was delayed a few hours. This really bothered me because I wouldn’t
be able to get over to the other house until later and the next day was Thanksgiving so I had to go get some work done. I
had to clean and paint and tie up lose ends. If the heater wouldn’t have broke would I have been killed? I don’t
know? But I didn’t get there until 4pm. And according to the neighbors they had been there all morning but they just
thought it was someone we hired. The two thief’s where in the house and I walked all the way in and they didn’t
even see me and my daughter. We ran out after listening for a while to their voices trying to decide if it was the radio I
left on or was someone really in there. We ran next door and called the cops. When the cops pulled up they ran out the back
of the house and got away. They had a stolen truck parked in front of the house loaded with thing from the house. They had
moved a few loads before hand and got away with doors off the hinges light fixtures off the wall a fire place mantel and too
much more to account for.
But yes, God did spare my life just as he did so many other time through out my life.
I just sat there in silence and thought I have to have faith that I will get better. Then a thought came into my head ‘
When the contents of you stomach is empty then you will be healed. What could that mean? I hadn’t eat for two weeks,
well just barely.
Late on Friday night I walked into a church white as a ghost, perhaps they thought I was a ghost because
the look on there faces looked alarmed. I asked them to pray for me and they did. One of the ladies prayers were silent but
she had big tears rolling down her face, The other lady not knowing what I needed prayer for just spoke out in prayer and
asked God to heal my stomach, throat and heart. I cried because she seemed to know what was wrong with me. I thanked them
and disappeared into the night. Still sick and thinking about everything in life and death. I wished I could just turn back
the clock even just a few years when Life was full of sorrow and despair over my mother-in-law dying of cancer or perhaps
to joyful times when my son was born. Any time but the here and now. I thought of all the mothers dying in bed and life still
has to go on around them. The kids still have to got to school and be fed and what can they do just lay there. Who takes care
of their responsibilities? I would , I would do anything for them if I could. Do they worry about there kids growing
up with out them/ I think so but then they as so many have just succumb to or ultimate fate, death. I don’t want to
die, I want to live…
“When the contents of my stomach is empty, Then I will be healed?” I returned
back to the doctor on Tuesday Sept 7th. I was looking a little better or at least I thought so. She looked concerned and made
small talk but as I answered her as to what I did over the holiday she didn’t look like she was listening to my answer,
She was far away in thought, perhaps wondering what was wrong with me. She pushed on my lower stomach and I let out kind of
a scream it was painful. She said she wanted to do some blood work which should have been done long ago. And then the swallow
test came back to haunt me again. I wanted the test more then ever because my swallowing was getting worse. She gave me a
prescription for another heartburn medicine. The swallow test was set up for the following day. Have you ever had a barium
swallow test? Its just strange you feel like its almost a photo shoot. You drink these crystals like Alka-Seltzer and
then they tell you what ever you do don’t burp. The urge is so bad that you just feel inclined to do so. I thought of
Willie Wonka and the fizzy lifting drink. Then you have to drink this barium chalk drink that is thick like pancake
batter while they x-ray your throat and stomach working in action. The hydraulic bed moves from straight up standing
against it and then you lean against it and they lay it down, sideways. Lights camera action! They start taking the x-rays.
They move you into all positions while you drink from a straw and tell you to hold still and they cheer you on as if your
doing something great. The test isn’t bad it was kind of fun in a strange way. The swallow test came back on Friday
and they said I was having acid reflux. So I thought if that's it I’ll just stick to the bland diet and take the
pills. I cried a few times over the weekend because I was still not well. On Monday the Doctors office called and said the
blood work came back and I had bacteria growing in my stomach. H pylori. I was so glad to hear that. They put me on a prevpack
that cost me $278.00 even with insurance. 3000mg of antibiotics a day and 60mg of prevecid for 14 days. At first the treatment
was worse then the sickness itself but I got use to it and have one more day to go. When the contents of my stomach are empty
then I’ll be healed!
Continue to pray for you painter in residence. I want to paint the most beautiful paintings
just for you and to bring glory to my God who has once again saved me just as many time before. ************************** My second and last painting for
the U2 song "Lemon" is now on the site. I hope you like it. I love it and am very pleased with the emotional
overtones. This painting wasn't very hard to paint because of the size of the character. It is the small things
that can real get to you. It is the small things that keep you up in the middle of the night. This was the only U2 painting
that let me sleep. click on the link below.
| Click me |
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| welcome to lemon |
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Just as I said , the painting is now on the site!!!! Stay (Faraway So Close)! click on the link.
| click me |
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| stay(far away so close) |
See I have been painting. This one has been in the works for 6 weeks . 30x40 Sweeney Todd
Painting an image this size is hard on the eyes. My head has been confused for days.. Mid painting his eyes started to
freak me out. Haunting and I had real bad dreams but as with all paintings we eventually became friends. Hope you have been
keeping well and I’ll keep you posted as soon as I get my painting life in order. Here’s to Disarray !
Bye Johnny!
The photo of the painting looks a little better then the last one but I guess you would have to see this one in person
to get the real effect. I wish you could see it in person but I am sad to say this is the last night it will be with me. Johnny
is leaving me tomorrow for his new home. It always makes me somewhat sad to say goodbye to a painting because you get use
to having them around. Bono can give his music to the world and yet its still his. I'll miss this one.
I finely had the chance to post my latest painting. I hope you like it
Bono in oil 18x24 title "Elsha's Bono"
This is one of those paintings that you can paint forever. What I mean by that is you'll never be satisfied
with the out come. I think I put about twenty hours into it and had to call it finished.
Yes, it was hard to part with and is no longer in my possession:however I made a few copies.
Hello 2007
My time in Ireland
was “the best”. It always amazes me how much it has changed. The last time we were there was two years ago and
it just keeps moving forward. Although the building boom has been going on for years, I just can’t believe how many
developments and new houses there were this time around. With a new motorway that is better then any open highway in America,
and bigger and better stores almost every town. If you never been to Ireland before you’ll never know the Ireland of
the past.
I didn’t even
try to go to Dublin this time around. Bono was in the paper everyday. I try to
hide the fact that I’m a U2 fan just as much as the fact that I’m not a Catholic.
I’m not trying
to impress anyone but at the same time I don’t want anyone disappointed. That is about being a catholic, Well that could
pertain to the U2 thing as well.
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care ...
And Im not scared
Light my candles, in a daze
cause Ive found
god
Ye aaaaaah Yeah …. Nirvana
We had the chance to see Johnny Cash entertainer perform.
I think it was the night of New Years Day. I don’t know if that makes any sense but anyway if you get the chance go
to his website. He is an American but lives and performs in Ireland. www.justinblackmusic.com
11/28/06
I Still haven't painted. We are going to Ireland for the Christmas and New Year it is consuming my life.
I'm very happy about the trip. I don't think I've ever been this excited about going to Ireland.
I think it has to do with the fact that everything in my life is great in this very moment in time. I
had a painter tell me one time, its like when you were a child and one of you parents would come in the room to say goodnight.
They would sit next to you on your bed and accidently sit on your arm or leg and no matter how smashed you were you would
never move for fear it would trigger them to get up and leave. Not wanting to lose the moment you would stay as still as possible
hanging on to their every word. That's me, afraid to move.
I know Valentines Day is a long way off but who
needs an EXCUSE to knock romance?
I
spend a lot of time with my young niece and she always thinks everything is so sweet and so romantic. I just laugh because
I'm on the other side of romance. Once you come in and close the door behind you it is soon after you realize its better to
be on the outside dreaming of things you want to be true. Its Like MALACHY, when he was growing up in Ireland he had an image
of America in his mind and this image was so built up that the dream out weighed the reality.
Marriage is like that sometimes the dream out
weighs the reality. It can't always be wine and roses sometimes
its Mad Dog and thistles. I know you're garden's full but is there sweetness at all?
4/4/06
Fingernails"
Never reaching what I want to reach
Never being who
I want to be
Blaming me when I fall and fail
All my dreams splintering
Under my fingernails
Under my fingernails
I'm
empty, lonely, and accused
Accused without a word
My fingernails are chipping down
From clawing in the dirt
I'm
so lost, lost and confused
I threw it all away
How can I be beautiful
When I am so afraid
Never reaching what
I want to reach
Never being who I want to be
Blaming me when I fall and fail
All my dreams splintering
Under my
fingernails
All my dreams out of reach
Under my fingernails
I watched it all slip through my hands
My brokenness
revealed
I'm so proud, I'm so proud
I'm crying to be filled
I'm killing, destroying the plague
That's killing
me away
I've got to live, I've got to love
Like I am unafraid
All my dreams out of reach
Under my fingernails
I'm
wasting, wasting every moment
I want to be tasting
Tasting every moment with you
I'm suffering, I'm bleeding, on
my knees
Who's going to save me?
Suffering, bleeding
Save me from this pit of frailty
Never reaching what
I want to reach
Never being who I want to be
Blaming me when I fall and fail
All my dreams splintering
Under my
fingernails
All my dreams out of reach
Under my fingernails
Never reaching me... Skillet
I'm going to see Skillet at the end of the
month. I've been listening to their music for a few months and I really like them. I think these lyrics would make an
awesome painting.
11/12/05
I physically came back from Vegas on Sunday the 6th but mental it was a few days thereafter. Not much news from
Vegas. Both concerts were great. As fate would have it, I didn't have the chance to meet Bono. That is not saying that I didn't
give it a hell of a try. I waited outside for hours with other fans but the odds were against us. Don't worry I'm use
to disappointment, I'm married to an Irishman lol . No really, It was amazing just being able to go to both concerts and that
was enough.
As far as painting I don't know what my next move will be. I really don't like to do commissioned work because my life
is so busy that money doesn't compensate time however I might paint a few. Another Elvis is sounding good to me. I really
enjoyed that painting.
7/17/05
I spent the night with the king. Well.. not really the King but close enough it was Elvis impersonator Travis LeDoyt.
He was performing at the Arvada Center and having gone to his website I knew I had to see him in person. He put on an
amazing show. If you love Elvis I think you have to see him for yourself so I'll post a link to his site and maybe you can
catch him at one of his shows.
I am out of the darkness, it is a new day and I know I want to live more so now then ever. I long to be that
which Christ has called me to be, to walk in the light of his glory and grace.
It is so bright and reveling even unto myself . There is much more comfort in the darkness, for it is easy
to conceal my whole self.
Why must I continually run from your love, hide from your call?
It must be shame, for I once did walk in the light of your glory and love.
I once did pledge my life unto you even until the death.
How quickly I have betrayed you, even before the cock began to crow.
Not even for thirty pieces of silver, for it is I, and I have sold out for nothing
--- R.Griego Dowd
Thank you to everyone for the great response to the site. Please sign the guest book. I do appreciate your
comments.
Uncertainty, unrighteousness, and condemnation will follow me all the days of my life, as I forever long to
dwell in the house of the Lord.
Remember, no sense in being pessimistic - it wouldn't work anyway.
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